Things I'll never say
by GoonieGirl
Summary: This is the story of my crazy high school, my best friend who was being paid to take out a girl playing hard to get, a cute jerk with a modeling job, a drinking party, and things people will do to get the person they love.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Hey I thought I'd start out with this little POV of Abby. This is dedicated to Heath Ledger. He left way too soon! Love ya Heath!

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with 10 things I hate about you!

High school has always been difficult. 400 people trying to figure out who they are while trying to juggle homework and life. It's crazy, but in the end we love the craziness.

If it wasn't crazy it wouldn't be called high school. We wouldn't know what to do with ourselves if it wasn't crazy. And believe me Padua high has always been crazy.

This is the story of my crazy high school, my best friend who was being paid to take out a girl playing hard to get, a cute jerk with a modeling job, a drinking party, and things people will do to get the person they love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: This is the ending in the next chapters it will flashback to everything and then head right back here to see what will happen! Enjoy!**

The bell rang loudly jerking me from the notebook page that moments ago sat blank. But now there were words. Many heartbreaking words on that piece of paper.

"All right. I assume everyone has found time to complete their essay. Except for Mr. Donner who has an excuse" Mr. Morgan's voice rang out. I laughed lightly looking behind me at Joey sulking behind his sun glasses.

"Shaft, lose the glasses" Mr. Donner laughed as Joey reluctantly removed them revealing the damage left from the night before. The class snickered.

"Alright. Anyone brave enough to read theirs aloud?" Mr. Morgan asked. Everyone looked around to see if any hands would go up. Not one did.

"There's no turning back now" I whispered to myself as I raised my hand.

"I will, Mr. Morgan" I said softly. I looked behind me as Patrick perked up.

I could see the interest in his eyes and I closed mine asking God for strength to finish what I started. I have a habit of that.

"Lord. Here we go" Mr. Morgan muttered fearing the worse. He must have heard about the flashing.

I swear the teachers have their own little secret society out to get me.

I'm sure they say "Did you hear what Gail did today? She pantz Carl and shoved him into his locker. He was in there for four periods before I heard his screaming. I never realized how sound proof those lockers are. It makes me wonder about the kids that have gone missing from this school over the years."

I walked to the front of the room, my combat boots hitting the cement hard. What can I say the school is cheep.

I turned to face the class making sure not to make eye contact with anyone.

"The things I'm sorry for" I stated plainly.

"I'm sorry I thought you were the one who would toss rocks at my window.

I'm sorry I went to your grandpa's house every summer and fell in love with you only to have you act like those Summers never happened" I continued.

The class was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. I looked up at Patrick. He knew it was about him. The first line threw him off, but now he knew.

He just stared at me with those beautiful eyes. I lowered my eyes back to the paper refusing the urge to run out screaming I couldn't do it.

"I'm sorry I set you up with that girl. If I knew you were gonna fall for her and ruin our friendship I would have never done it.

I'm sorry I went out with a real jerk of a model, all the while falling hard for you" I looked up from the paper at Joey who was scowling menacingly at me. I smiled softly at Joey's reaction.

"I'm sorry I got drunk because it hurt me so much seeing you with someone else.

I'm sorry I got upset when I found out that our song was suddenly you and another girl's song.

I'm sorry I found you a tux for Prom at the last minute and stared at you waiting for a kiss that never came.

I'm sorry I got upset when you took her to prom even though you promised me. I should have known you would break my heart into a million pieces and not notice a thing.

I'm sorry that I fell so hard for you and thought 'Hey maybe he'll be waiting at the bottom of all this' only to find out he wasn't." The tears were flowing now, but I couldn't stop not now, not ever.

"I'm sorry that I sang my heart out for you on that stage and expected you to choose between her and me. I should have known you would choose her.

I'm sorry that for a years you made me feel as though I actually meant something to someone.

I'm sorry I'm too young to die and too old to believe in promises. Especially your promises.

I'm sorry I just can't wait until the day I hear a happy love song on the radio and don't wanna smash the dumb thing.

I'm sorry I'm so scared that I'll never find someone who doesn't love me the way you do and at the exact same moment, I'm scared to death that I will.

I'm sorry I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi to me, or even smile, because I know even if just for a second, I crossed your mind.

I'm sorry that I am always the one you need to talk to,but never the one good enough to date.

I'm sorry if I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when a new girl comes around." My voice squeaked uncontrollably and I forced myself to right it.

"I'm sorry if I don't answer my phone anymore when you call because I would break down crying the moment I heard your voice.

But most of all I'm sorry for not being sorry anymore.

I'm sorry that you can't accept me for who I am.

I'm sorry that I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm Sorry that I cared.

I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

I'm sorry there's only so much pain one teenage girl's heart can take and you my dear have exceeded the limits.

I'm sorry that you can't realize I've been the one all along

Guys sometimes can be so clueless, not realizing who loved them all along was standing right beside them.

Well guys, next time you're talking maybe look up to see who you're talking to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in her head 'Why won't you give me a chance?"

I ran out of the room pausing beside Patrick to shove the paper onto his desk. I ran out of the school ignoring remarks from the teachers I passed. I ran to the playground and hopped onto one of the swings.

I gripped the metal chains and held on tightly as I swung higher and higher. The tears that kept coming felt cold on my skin as the wind rustled through my thick auburn air.

I came slowly to a stop and knew it was over. There was nothing more to cry about.

**R/r Tell me what you think!**


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